Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Catching the "Poor Me" Mindset & Two Keys to Changing Your State of Mind

It was the morning before I had to leave and I was feeling heavy. Pouty. Sorry for myself. I knew I'd be working all through the coming weekend and my mind was going all sorts of unfortunate places. "It's everyone else's weekend and I'm going to be WORKING. I'm already tired and the weekend hasn't even started yet. I'm going to be exhausted. My back is probably going to hurt and freak out on me. I don't really want to do this. This is going to be stressful. I'll have to be 'ON' the whole time. I'm not ready for this. I wish I could just stay home and veg..."

I had the honor of being invited to cook and bring my essential oil alchemy to David Cho's Fall Yoga & Meditation Retreat. The Friday morning of, I wasn't feeling it. I found myself dreading what was coming, wanting to curl up and go back to bed.

And then I caught myself.

Not "I caught you doing something bad!" but a catching myself gently with compassion and love. This has taken practice, presence and a keen awareness. But what I was able to shift for myself in that moment, before I even walked in my front door, in a way feels nothing short of world-changing.

At least, it completely changed my attitude, my mood and my experience of the weekend.

Catching myself meant being able to see the stories and the reality I was creating for myself... to see the "Poor Me" dialogue I was telling myself in my head. And to realize that I had a choice. I said to myself, only one block from home and minutes from starting my full-on packing preparations,

"This is not the experience I want to have. I don't want to go in bitterness, heaviness and dread."

It would have been easy to let myself play out my victim "this-is-happening-to-me and I-don't-have-any-choice-in-the-matter" game. But I didn't want to bring that energy to the retreat, for myself or for the other beings there. That was not the experience I wanted to create. That wasn't who I wanted to be.

Ok, self. What experience DO you want to have? How do you want this to go this weekend? How DO you want to feel and show up?

I took a deep breath noticed how hunched my body was. I stood up and straightened my spine. I lifted my heart and chest, letting my shoulders fall down my back. I wanted to go in a spirit of capability, nourishment, service, openness and empowerment. I began walking into the sense of self-knowing I wanted to embody.

I envisioned myself in my favorite red dress, owning it. I let myself feel and swing my hips, feel sexy and alive. I told myself how capable I was, reminded myself that I knew what to do and all I had to do was show up and be me. That was enough. I could trust myself to do that.

I filled my lungs and stretched my arms out, looking up to the sky, feeling somehow bigger, like more was now possible. When I got home, I showered, changed into one of my favorite outfits and put on my most sensual, empowering essential oil Skin Scent.

Did I still have resistance to letting myself shift like that? Yes. But I asked myself to let it happen, to let it be that easy. Change is only as hard as you hold onto your resistance.

Here are two keys I use to change my mind:
  1. I changed my body language. I walked my inner talk until I could feel and believe and be it fully, inside and out.
  2. That morning and parts of the weekend still required me to stay out of my "poor me" stories, which continued to surface. When I noticed them, I took a breath and looked around. I got present. And then I focused on what I was doing, one moment at a time.


The weekend was beautiful. We had our first autumn rain and the air was fresh, cool, earthy, sweet. We were cozy inside. The food was delicious and nourishing. I let myself be me, surprising myself by making $200 just showing up and sharing what I love. I let myself take my time and take care of myself and the whole weekend felt mindful. I connected with and exchanged ideas with a beautiful community of people. By the end, I was tired. And I enjoyed myself.

I like to think that letting myself enjoy is to be "in joy" which is to embrace and experience all of what comes, all of what I feel. To me, that is inner peace.

The next time you catch yourself in a pouty, pissy or poor-me mental space, remember that only you can make you happy. You can change your mind at any time.

All that stuff going on outside of you? It really is happening. But you get to decide how you're going to respond. Your state of mind can be managed and shifted if you allow for the possibility and put your energy towards what you want.

What do you think? What's the most challenging part about this for you? What tricks do you use to help yourself stay present or make the shift?

Monday, October 13, 2014

Ever Set an Exciting New Intention... And then Forget? Seven Ways to Keep Your Mind Where Your True Desires Are

I'd just gotten off a call with my peer accountability buddy, and I was all revved up. (Our calls are largely about hashing through our challenges, looking for our personal truth so that we can move forward with clarity. Great, right?) Well, I had reconnected with a deep desire of mine to write poetry and I was on fire with creativity. I was going to start writing magnificent poems again! I was going to find an open mic night and start reading in front of people!

The next week, 5 minutes before she and I hopped on the phone again, I looked back at my notes and realized I'd completely forgotten to make time to write any poetry, read any poetry, or even think about it. How could I have been so excited and then let it slip out of my mind like that? This was supposed to be an EASY one to follow through on...

Am I THAT preoccupied with the rest of my life and to-do list? So much so that I can't remember to do the things that excite me?

Without judging myself for it, yes.

It's easy to go back to what is familiar, what is safe. It's easy and comfortable to get into a groove, even when it's not a groove that lights you up or is even working for you. Sometimes our grooves make us downright irritable and depressed, and yet we stay in them. For safety, for familiarity, for comfort. It's your (ego) self protecting your (higher, true) Self. Distracting you, finding other things to take care of that feel more urgent, talking you down.

Truth is, your higher Self needs to be let free, needs to play, needs to take chances, be wild, be itself. You won't be truly happy until you are being truly YOU. But our "stay-small, it's safer" self doesn't like change. It's scared. I don't blame it/me/you. Change = The Unknown!

Just because something feels scary or "bad" doesn't mean something scary or bad is happening. Fear is just your body's way of asking you if you're alert and paying attention to what's going on. If you are living and creating changes in your life consciously and intentionally, you surely are. Ask yourself, in the face of fear, "Why am I so excited?" Fear and excitement run on the same circuitry in your brain. Acknowledge the fear and then reframe it for yourself. What about this gets your nervous system so excited?!

So when you feel that inner "Yes" - excitement/fear is a good sign - drawing you towards something bigger in your life, how do you stay connected to that feeling of excitement, of expansion, of truth, without getting sucked into the flow, to-do's, habits and patterns of everyday life?

Here are 7 ways I keep my intentions fresh in my mind:
  1. Post it notes: Leave yourself an inspiring reminder or two or five, wherever you'll see it throughout the day.
  2. Vision boards: Take some creative time to collage together a vision board of what you want, the direction or energy you want to step into, and hang it on your wall.
  3. Changing the background of my phone and computer: Visual cues are powerful. Choose something that will remind you of what you want and why you want it.
  4. Wearing a scent that reminds and aligns me with my intention: I created an entire piece of my business around this, it is so powerful for me! (Alchemist Alex!) I love essential oils the most because I can select ones that change my emotional and energetic states to be aligned with what I want. Double action!
  5. Wearing an awesome outfit, piece of jewelry or makeup: Change the way you look and you change the way you show up. You know how good it feels to look good. Do it for yourself, and do it with intention, so you can show up for whatever it is you're trying to create more of. More money? Dress profess. More active? Wear some sexy yoga clothes. More confident? Rock some heals and lipstick.
  6. Make a playlist: Keep yourself in the right mood and energy. Choose songs that speak to the heart of what you want and sing along!
  7. Set what you need out so you'll see it: Your running shoes. Your journal. A timer. A big beautiful pitcher of water with lemons. Give it a new home so it is out in your space and won't have to remember to remember and be inspired to take action.
What are you going to try? What do you know already works for you? Please share below! I'm always up for learning and trying new things myself...

Monday, October 6, 2014

Activate Your Being - The WOW Talks SF Workshop 10/16/14

I have a feeling you are here to make big shifts in this world. When you want to create change, you must align yourself to support that shift to come through you. You are required to “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

So how are you being and showing up?

Every moment is a practice of being who and how we need to be in order to live the lives and missions we are here to. If you are not resonating with the frequency of what you aim to create, it is very difficult to create it. Are you pushing or are you flowing?

There are many ways to activate your BEing. The WOW Talks and myself invite you to dip your toes (and nose!) into the world of essential oils and their aromatic and vibrationally uplifting powers. From letting go of negative energies and emotions, to detoxing, to attuning more deeply to your intuition, to increasing your confidence and self-love, essential oils affect our bodies and minds profoundly. They change our vibrations and align us with our visions, purpose and missions.

When you are energetically aligned and activated, you can show up and shine, you can experience fulfillment, and you can create the reality you want to see in the world.

This is an intuitive, hands- and senses-on workshop. You will make and take home your own synergistic essential oil blend to activate your limitless being!

This is a ticketed event! $15 advance/$20 door
Tickets available @ tinyurl.com/thewowtalks

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Introducing... Alchemist Alex

You've probably seen hints of Alchemist Alex already. And heard me talking about my essential oil Skin Scents and Body Love. But where did that come from? Am I not a coach?

This is what happens when you apply your coaching to yourself: You ask a lot of questions, and you get honest with yourself. And when I asked myself about my current coaching career, what I heard/felt back was: Emotional Eating coaching feels heavy to me, like I'm living tied to the past and a part of myself I'm ready to let go of. I felt like I was pushing around old baggage, dredging up old icky feelings.

So I gave myself some space and permission to explore... what do I love to do? What calls to me? What feels effortless and like I'd do it anyway, money or none?

I am a highly sensitive person. I fell in love with essential oils four years ago when I was gifted a small blue glass vial of Lavender essential oil and I was smitten. The smell was divine and powerful, relaxing and uplifting.

When my massage and yoga couple friends introduced me to their array of essential oils, I just couldn't stop sniffing. Breathing deep. Sighing. Going back for more. It was truly a turn-on. For my senses. For my creativity. For my learning.

I love essential oils because they come from nature, from plants. I LOVE nature. It makes me feel connected to myself and the universe spiritually. It grounds me. It fascinates me. It enlivens and refreshes me. And so do essential oils.

I soon began wearing them as perfumes, because they smelled so delicious. But it was when I bought a guide book and began researching their properties and powers (disinfecting, pain and stress relieving, hormonally balancing, energy clearing, emotionally uplifting) that I really got interested. I began using them with more intention, and creating blends based on the way I wanted to feel and be in the moment. I called this part of me Alchemist Alex.

Our sense of smell is generally an under-appreciated and utilized sense - but it is one of our most powerful, especially in terms of emotion and memory. Think about how many smell memories you have, especially from your childhood or of people you have loved! I've discovered how to use essential oils to anchor me to my intentions, to raise my vibration and to turn on the rest of my senses, including my intuition. I truly am experiencing my sensitivity as a superpower these days!

That's when I realized how all of this is connected. Essential oils are not just a hobby, they are a beautiful, tangible doorway into living the life I've been craving. One of creativity and craftiness, deep conscious thought and intention, natural alternative healing, a sustainable green lifestyle, pleasure and sensuality, connection to my yoga community and with my husband.

I feel like I'm doing something bigger than creating art. I'm inspiring people. I'm creating a way for them to connect with their sensitivity, sensuality and intentions. I'm helping people feel beautiful.

Alchemist Alex at Suka Yoga in Novato, CA
And what do you know... When I started allowing myself to do something that I loved, everything started to flow. I started hosting Essential Oil Blending Parties (the first one sold out!), created our Etsy store, made Skin Scents to be sold in a REAL LIVE yoga studio in Marin, donated samples for a yoga and sound healing workshop in New York, got commissioned to make a custom scent for my coaching colleague's client, and have been asked to create another custom blend for an upcoming workshop on women's health! Whoa I know! It's been a whirlwind at times but the work hasn't felt like work, it's felt inspired.

I want to help you feel inspired. With my essential oil Skin Scents, and through my coaching. I believe the most potent form of clarity you can have is knowing how you want to feel (a la Danielle LaPorte and her Desire Map). I'm using that foundation and bringing all the rest of the tools I know to help you take your life and being to the next level. Maybe in your energy and health. Maybe in your career. Perhaps to find your calling or next step. Perhaps to deepen your relationship.

Essential oils are just one tool in my box. Every client I work with will get a personal blend to match their personal activation and up-leveling. Want to know what else is in my box? Let's talk.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

4 Reasons to Ditch Lotion for Natural Oils & Have the Most Sensual, Soft, Luscious Skin

If you told me a few years ago that I'd be smearing oils on my skin every day, I would have told you that you were gross and crazy.

And now... that's exactly what I do and I would never go back. My skin is the healthiest, softest, and most glowing it's ever been.

Watch this video to learn:
  • why oils work better than lotions and creams
  • what oils I use to nourish my skin without clogging it
  • and how taking care of my skin this way has been a game-changer for making other healthy changes in my life really stick

Do you have questions? What does your skin care routine look like? What products are you using? How do you feel about their quality? Tell me below! I'm so curious!

Pro Tip: If you're going to start switching over, make it easy on yourself! Finish up what you're already using and try out using oils instead one place at a time, rather than trying to make a drastic switch all at once.

Monday, August 18, 2014

Finding Friends Who Really GET You

I never had close girlfriends growing up. I grew up with brothers and I found guys to be safer, less likely to reject me. Ok, I did have one best girlfriend in high school, but she broke my heart abruptly in college, affirming my distrust and disease in opening up to other females. Anyone else feel like it's hard to get close to other women?

I had friends, sure, but not a "BFF" as I so desperately wanted, someone I could talk about my deepest darkest stuff with. So I felt very alone. And very crazy. And very weird. My best friend was my journal.

Women are social creatures. We affirm each others' experiences, we find power in numbers, and we process emotions with one another. Even when you're naturally an introvert, like me, who needs time by yourself... women friends are priceless. They keep you grounded and sane. They remind you of who you are and what matters, even - or especially - in your toughest moments.

As an adult, I've had to let go of my stories about befriending women. I've had to allow myself to open up to having women friends, to decide that I wanted women friends.

And I've intentionally gone out to find them. Here's how:


Finding Friends Who Really GET You (A Road Map):
  1. Know what you want. Like attracting an ideal partner, it pays to know what you want in a friendship. And then let it go. People don't always look or show up the way you think they will.
  2. Go where they gather. I used meetup.com to find women's communities and social groups and said yes to invites from friends who I thought would run in the circles I wanted to be in.
  3. Be bold and introduce yourself. It takes some vulnerability and getting out of your comfort zone to make a new, authentic connection. Most people go out hoping for this, so dare yourself to make the first move. Be yourself, not a people pleaser.
  4. Look for 1 person to connect with. Someone you resonate with. Ask them out on a tea/hiking/dinner date AND get it on both your calendars before you leave. Follow up. It's kind of like dating or networking for friends!
  5. Rinse and repeat. Decide what worked and what didn't and get back out there. This is a growing process, remember. Don't take "no" or "busy" personally and don't push something that's not happening. When the right person appears, you'll both feel it and the friendship will blossom in a way that feels natural and easy. Focus on building a community, a network for yourself, not on finding "the one."

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Sticking to Your Intentions & Goals

In this video, I talk about the power of knowing what you want, of setting an intention, and how to remember to stick to it... usually the hardest part, right?

How often do you say to yourself, "I want to be more grounded/calm/present/relaxed/positive/healthy..." and then real life kicks in and you get to the end of the day and realize you got... distracted. Overwhelmed. Wrapped up. In the flow.

Here is one of my biggest secrets for sticking to my intentions & goals:


Alchemist Alex - our new online shop for Intention-Imbued Body Scents

Here are the scents I mentioned! Bookmark it so you can see when Honey Sunshine, the special scent I gave you a sneak peak of in the video.

Beautiful Traveler

Intention: sense-ual, meditative, connected and spiritual journeying through life, noticing the beauty in all the little things

Aromas: sweet, rich, deep, warm, spice, vanilla, tropical floral, woodsy



Scent of the Ent
(for forrest & nature lovers)


Intention: grounding, inner wisdom & strength, protection, staying clear & centered

Aromas: fresh, piney, spicy, clean, deep, green, earthy, woody, soft, sweet


Delicious Being

Intention: relaxing into who you truly are, letting yourself BE yourself, releasing stress

Aromas: sweet, vanilla, lively, citrus, tropical, warm, woodsy, soft




Are you a believer in the power of intention and knowing what you want? Share with me below - what do you do to remind yourself to stay aligned?