Are You Too Sensitive? + 5 Ways to Wake Up the Senses that DO Serve You!

Have you been told that you are too sensitive? That you cry too much. That you're so emotional. Get over it. Grow up. Put your big girl panties on. Big boys don't cry.

Did you hear any of that growing up? Or do you say any of those things to yourself even now? It's something all of us are familiar with. Our culture is imbued: emotions and sensitivity are deemed as weak, as feminine, unstable and unpredictable. We're told and taught to stuff our emotions and our emotional/mental/energetic needs down. 

I always felt like I was too sensitive for my own good, and that it was something I needed to overcome.

And so I did my best.... I put on my happy face and then went home and wrote heart-wrenching, angry journal entries almost every day. When the feelings were too uncomfortable, I turned to food, I binged on cereal at night, I'd hand around the snack table at parties to feed my insecurity with comfort and pleasure. If someone did something I didn't like, or that disrespected me, rather than make a scene (even more overstimulation and discomfort), I'd turn the other way and shovel my own needs and feelings under the rug. Now, none of that actually served me. And it didn't make the feelings go away.

This past year I read a fascinating book called The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine N. Aron. It re-framed a lot of experiences and ideas that I'd had about my own sensitivities, showing me that this innate disposition I've been experiencing is not necessarily a curse. It's simply misunderstood and mis-valued in our culture and society. Being sensitive can be a great gift, when we know what it means for us, and know how to honor and respect our own needs and boundaries (more on this later)!

(Click here is a self-test by author Elaine N. Aron if you'd like to see if you are a highly sensitive person!)

I've found that reawakening and engaging my senses and sensitivity has brought me back into greater appreciation for all the simple things in my life, and for my own intuition!

I want to fully taste, touch, feel, smell, hear, and see my life! I want to be engaged and awake with all of my senses! I'm done with a numb, masked way of being. I want to FEEL again.

5 simple ways to wake up your senses
& tune back into your delicious, rich and powerful sensitivity:

1. Get wind chimes and hang them where you will hear them in times of relative quiet.

2. Go on a Smell Walk around your neighborhood. Really, have you ever? Then try a Sound Walk.

3. Savor your first sips and bites of all of your food with as many senses as possible. Put all of your attention on your food or drink for the first few mouthfuls and see how it changes the whole experience. Look at your food, touch your food, smell your food, slowly chew it long and good before you swallow and take your next bite.

4. Look people in the eyes when you are talking. Sounds simple, but you might find it challenging at first. Or you might find it utterly engaging. Start with people you know and trust. Notice what comes up within you, and what changes in your conversations. Feel free to share with them what you are experimenting with so that you both can play with it and see what you see together.

5. Find an essential oil that you like and begin to wear it. I like to have different ones to associate with different things. Lavender oil is soothing and relaxing, I put it on when I'm starting to wind down and get ready for bed. Jasmine or Ylang Ylang are high-note feminine floral essences that I love to put on when I'm getting dressed up or wanting to feel sensual and embodied (Sage and juniper are great for men, though I love to use them too, when I want to feel powerful and confident.)

Quality (Or: Why I Spend So Much $ on Food)

Quality matters big time when it comes to my food. Yes, I'd much rather pay more and eat less. Here's why:

1. It Tastes Better
Fresh, organic, local food tastes better. Period. Tell me you don't like carrots and I'll bring you one from the farmers' market. Hard to believe it's related to those watery little nubs you get in a bag at the grocery store. My secret to making vegetables and meals taste good? Start with ingredients you don't have to cover up. Use ingredients that speak for themselves. Then you're just playing with and enhancing them.

2. I Eat & I Vote
As consumers, we vote with our money. So support your friends not your enemies. Educate yourself. Buy fair trade where it's available. Who do you want to be supporting? Local farmers or Monsanto? Yes, it's easier on the conscience (temporarily, at least) to turn a blind eye to the widespread abuse of animals in our food system (google: CAFO), but is your eating in alignment with your values? Pigs are as intelligent and sensitive as dogs. How do you feel about dog abuse? I mean it. You want a better world for all? If you have the money, put it where your mouth is.

3. Healthy
Trust me, I know all the debates and studies (who's funding those again?) but I also have a pretty intelligent head full of common sense. Organic = no toxic chemicals, more diverse nutrients and antioxidants, responsible farming, healthy environment. This is even more important with animal products. If you are what you eat, so is your bacon. Ever notice how you store bad energy, fear and tension in your body (my shoulders and neck sure do), not to mention toxins, steroids, antibiotics? That is what's in your meat, going into YOUR body, unless you're buying organic, grass-fed, or pasture-raised, ethically-farmed animals.

4. Experience

I'm just not into (over)eating massive quantities of things, it doesn't turn me on. In fact, it makes me feel sluggish, fat, and guilty, and it kills my sex drive, my energy, and my confidence - all things I enjoy very much. Basically, I'd prefer to slowly and consciously savor my wild salmon, asparagus risotto, and chocolate truffles, than eat cheap Chinese takeout with my eyes glued to a TV screen, hardly even tasting what's going into my mouth (well, maybe I'd rather not taste that).

At the core of it all, I opt for quality because it is an expression of who I am and how I want to contribute to this world. How you eat is how you live. On many levels.

Isn't it Vain or Shallow to Focus on my Appearance?

This question comes up for almost all of my clients at some time or another. A kind of dark shadowy guilty feeling.. isn't it vain or shallow of me to be focusing so much on my outer appearance? Shouldn't I love myself how I am?

I believe that feeling good in your body when it fits into your size 4 pants only appears vain or shallow on the surface. At the core, you know it feels better to live in a slimmer, fitter body because you know you're taking care of yourself. Because you have more energy. Because you're more confident. Because you've never felt so good in your own skin. And guess what? It shows!

But it doesn't feel good to think that others might be judging us, or to be subconsciously judging ourselves. So it's important to get clear about all of those reasons why you're choosing to focus on your health, your weight and outer appearance.

What often pops up in our heads when we start to shine in our new body and feel good about it, is that we start to fear that OTHER people will think we are vain or shallow, for putting so much effort into our outward appearance, whether we're losing weight or dressing differently... so, either seriously or jokingly (or both), we call ourselves vain to make sure no one gets confused and thinks we've gotten lost in our own ego. 

Shouldn't I love myself no matter what I weigh?

Yes, please! And this is a big part of the mindset shift I help cultivate. Problem is, we usually feel bad for having extra weight on our bodies in the first place.

I believe that our bodies (and our lives) are outward expressions of our inner selves - our consciousness, our commitments, our growth, etc. Does this mean people who are overweight are flawed or lacking on the inside, in their character? No! I see their extra weight as an expression of their culturally inherited ignorance about eating - the wide mis-information we're taught by food companies and the media. (Have you seen this: The Extraordinary Science of Addictive Junk Food?)

Here's the thing: Our bodies are evolutionarily designed to hold onto extra calories for survival. To me, it's a moral and ethical question to food companies and their leaders - it seems they are deceiving the mass public, and often, themselves. Their products are designed precisely so that you WON'T be able to "control yourself" or have "willpower". Additionally, the food and diet industries makes sure you think you SHOULD have the control and willpower to resist, that your overweight because you're weak, you're out of control, you're a failure... The messaging is blatant, just look at the TV show The Biggest Loser.

I say all of this because I think it's worth getting angry about. I see it undermine the success my clients feel (or fear) as they eat, feel and look better. I too, have struggled with feeling egotistical and self-centered for eating healthfully. Eating better should make you feel better!

Here's the reality about "focusing on your appearance"... That's not really what you're focusing on, is it?

When you release that extra weight, it's because you made the changes and the investments in your physical health, your energy and your sense of control, and you made every single one of little choices that got you there.

When you follow through and show up for yourself, you cultivate your sense of worthiness, your sense of confidence. This is why taking baby steps is so important - they allow you to easily follow through and continuously build your sense of self-confidence and self-worth.

Every little baby step forward, every little healthy choice is an inner affirmation that "I can and I am doing this for me because I'm worth it."

And no, none of us is perfect, none of us have the eating thing 100% figured out, but I when you are continuously educating yourself and supporting yourself through reading, programs and coaching, you are showing up and exploring this question of how to take better care of yourself EVERY DAY.

You totally deserve to feel good about the way you look. You are making it happen. Tell people why it matters to you and you give them permission to let it matter to them too.

20 Positively Powerful Thoughts: A Manifesto

What is Project Positivity about? Feeling more goodness, yes. Sinking your toes into happy mud, yes. Opening your eyes to little wonders, yes. Taking fun photos every day, yes.

But what is the experience going to be like? What's in it for me?

Every day you will get a simple and thoughtful prompt in your email about something new to photograph. Then, off into your day you go, looking for Positivity! When you have your photo, you'll share it with the group and get to explore everyone else's photo shares for the day!

But what does it mean to feel and look for “Positivity”?

Here are 20 of the fun and positive frames that will guide the creative photo prompts and experiences of Project Positivity. We will play with at least one of these a day...

I've come to think of them as the Project Positivity Manifesto!

I wanted you to have a taste, in case you're still deciding :) And if you're sitting in your seat right now, thinking, hecks yeah, I want some of that, here's where you can register yourself into the fun: ProjectPositivity.eventbrite.com

We are changing our Minds...
Because every thought counts.

Gratitude can help you exercise more??

And, I might go so far to say, eat better too?? Talk about the Law of Attraction - I've been thinking and breathing Project Positivity and gratitude projects and this surfaces out of my old email archives from DailyGood.org... I love synchronicity!

And feel-good food... (don't miss the recipe below!)

Researchers have been investigating the mental and physical effects of gratitude practices. Check this out: A study at UC Davis randomly assigned participants into three groups. All were tasked to keep a weekly journal.

Group 1: briefly describe five things you were grateful for that had occurred in the past week.

Group 2: record five daily hassles from the previous week that displeased you.

Group 3: list five events or circumstances that affected you (not told whether to focus positive or negative).

Ten weeks later, participants in the gratitude group felt better about their lives as a whole and were a full 25% happier than the hassled group. They reported fewer health complaints, and exercised an average of 1.5 hours more.

While I can't promise miracles within your experience of Project Positivity, I do know that when we create space and give energy and attention to the things we want, they start showing up. I can assure you that every day you look through a positive lens, you will see and feel positive things. You will discover how rich and fascinating and awesome your every day life already is.

Here we go: I took a wrong turn on my way back from a hike today and this is what I got... oh yes ;)

After a day of Project Positivity outreach and excitement, I made myself this afternoon power snack... whips up in just a few minutes!

Spiced Chocolate Dip + Apples

1/2 avocado
2 soft dates (I had soaked mine)
2 Tbsp raw cacao
lots of shaking of the cinnamon shaker (1 tsp?)
about 1/2 tsp fresh grated ginger
sprinkle cayenne
1/2 tsp maca (optional)
splashes (maybe 1/2 cup or more) fresh almond milk ... added and blended until it reached the consistency I liked. 

Is it Realistic to Always Be Positive?

I was asked this week about Project Positivity:

Is it realistic to always be positive?
Wouldn't that be totally fake?

Yes, it would be. I spent a lot of my life feeling like I had to put on my happy face and pretend like I was great and fine and peachy. I grew up under the roof of "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Project Positivity is not about pretending everything is peachy and wonderful when it isn't. It is about acknowledging BOTH the good and the bad. It is about increasing your capacity to FEEL. Check it out:

At this point in my life, I do usually find myself in a "glass half full" kind of mindset, and I've been admired for my positive, upbeat attitude most of my life. But when that's not a genuine expression of how I was actually feeling inside, it was completely draining. My inner cynic just LOVED to feed on that. "Yeah, sure, everything's just GRAND. If they only knew what it's like when you're home alone at night stuffing yourself with almond butter." The happy mask would bring me further down.

Notice, though, that when we allow ourselves to get present and put our "gratitude goggles", we can see different aspects of our life. We can genuinely tune into and experience good feelings, even as we acknowledge that no, everything is not perfect or ideal or going how I want it to.

Here's how I allow myself to FEEL more. I ask myself:

1. How am I feeling right now?

2. How do I want to feel?

These are simple questions, but powerful. The first helps you to get present to how you are feeling right here right now. If we don't allow ourselves to feel the emotions and feelings inside of us, they give us tension headaches and stiff necks. The second question is about taking responsibilty for how you feel - responding to where you are in a proactive way.

This is one of the most powerful tools I've come across for getting me focused in the direction I want to go. I want to acknowledge when I'm feeling funky and uninspired. But do I want to wallow in it? No, I want to feel free and unburdened and exicted! Then I go and find something that creates or ignites that feeling within me.

If you liked this post and found it intriguing, THIS is what you'll be getting more of in Project Positivity! It is essentially a guided photography gratitude practice.

Why I Unsubscribed

Time to spring clean my inbox!

Here's why I just unsubscribed from half of the email lists I am on:

1. Overwhelm. Too much is too much. I asked myself: How many emails do I want to be reading per day? How much time do I want to spend reading emails? Do I actually read these emails? Is this valuable or just clutter?

2. Anxiety. Yes, I admit, I can't help but compare myself to others sometimes. And sometimes I feel like I should be doing/eating/thinking about what everyone else is. Do these emails exacerbate my sense of "I should be doing more"? Do they make me feel bad about myself or my choices? Do they increase my sense of pressure?

So that's what I don't want... What DO I want?

3. Inspiration. Empowerment. Selective Choice. Everything we see and read has an impact on our mindset and what we deem as normal and possible. (Did you try this mind game yet?) Be selective. It's your right, just as you can choose to turn off or mute the TV when ads come one. How do you want to feel when you check your inbox? I asked myself: Do I want to be reading fear-based emails about "Don't Do/Eat this?" or diseases and obscure nutrient deficiencies? Do these emails inspire me to action? Do they feed and expand the mindset I want to be cultivating?

If what you're reading isn't feeding, stretching or inspiring your BodyMindSoul 100%, UNSUBSCRIBE and find something that does.

They say: The world is your oyster.

I say: The internet is a wormhole. (Jump into one that feels really good.) 

If you're looking for something positive and inspiring and feel-good to subscribe to - try feeding your BodyMindSoul with Project Positivity, my newest venture!

What IS Project Positivity? I am SO excited to share it with you! Head on over and watch my video!